Above The Empire-Shut Your Pearhole, General Custard

My band, Above The Empire's fourth track on their demo EP. Not perfect, but it's only home recorded, it's just a demo.

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Lyrics:
So you want a story?
I'll give you a story!
I'll tell you a story about the time!
So you want a story?
I'll give you a story!
I'll tell you a story about the time!

Go into the kitchen
4:07 in the afternoon!
Look into the pantry there are 2 things to choose
2 things I can eat!
There's potato chips, and there's shredded wheat!
I know that shredded wheat is healthier for me
But I also think,
That I deserve a treat!!

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh

GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
I'm eating my potato chips!
And the worst thing that can happen happens!
I'm feeling something in my eye,
And I have to get it out!
I take my salty right hand and put it in my eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............
IT BURNS!
IT BURNS!
IT BURNS!
IT BURNS!
IT BURNS!
IT BUUURRRRRNNNNNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I wanted was a gentle snack,
But apparently, that's just too much to ask!
Why can't anything just go right for me?
Step into my shoes,
And I promise you'll see!
I'll just sit down and enjoy this soft chair,
Ohhhh nooooooooo............I SAT ON A CACTUS!!

NOW THERE'S CACTUS NEEDLES IN MY BUMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!