Cultist Chan Chainripper (Nsfw)

She has been claimed by every Dark Power there is.

Apparently none of Them believed in dress codes.

Cultist-chan is an adult devotee of Chaos, a battlefield hazard, a theological inconvenience, and now - through a complete failure of military discipline - entirely naked.

No armor. No uniform. No panties. No explanation.

Just faith, momentum, several pounds of screaming chain-sword, and the absolute confidence of someone who has never once considered whether running directly toward gunfire is a good idea.

Cultist-chan did not so much join the forces of darkness as arrive inside them at high speed.

Nobody remembers recruiting her. Nobody trained her. Nobody gave her a rank. Several officers have spent years arranging command structures so they will never become responsible for her.

It has not worked.

Every battle begins roughly the same way: commanders examine the map, priests begin their invocations, artillery crews calculate firing solutions.

Then comes the rising howl of a chain-sword.

Then screaming.

Then Cultist-chan runs past.

Sometimes toward the enemy. Sometimes sideways.

Her chain-sword is far too large for her. She needs both hands, a running start and an irresponsible amount of enthusiasm to get it above her head, which is precisely where she insists on keeping it.

Charging? Sword overhead.

Celebrating? Sword overhead.

Waiting for orders? Sword overhead.

Completely naked while two war-priests argue over whether this violates corrupted doctrine?

Sword. Overhead.

The enormous spiked icon chained across her back is wider than she is, carries enough chain to restrain a daemon engine, and makes a noise like someone throwing a cathedral down a staircase whenever she moves.

It makes stealth impossible.

Fortunately, Cultist-chan has never shown any interest in stealth.

Or panties.

The theological situation is worse.

Cultist-chan bears the marks of all the Dark Powers.

All of Them.

War-priests have held councils over it. Schisms have formed. Entire scrolls attempt to explain why every major power in the Beyond looked at the same tiny screaming woman and independently decided:

Yes. That one.

Current theories include prophecy, divine convergence, an infernal filing error, and the increasingly popular suggestion that Cultist-chan simply attended every forbidden ritual she could find until the gods became too tired to throw her out.

Nobody has disproved the last one.

Mostly because she keeps appearing at rituals.

Real Chaos does not need panties.

Real Chaos needs a chain-sword, a giant cultist icon, several mutually incompatible divine blessings, no situational awareness and enough forward momentum to turn a tactical mistake into somebody else's problem.

Will she win your game? Probably not.

Will she hold an objective? Only accidentally.

Will your opponent spend several minutes trying to process the completely naked screaming cultist charging toward their army beneath an icon twice her width?

Now we are discussing the important statistics.

Need a source of sinful arousal to compromise your spiritual integrity? She has already compromised everything else.

Need an objective marker nobody at the table will forget? Problem solved.

Need a model you absolutely, definitely bought for lore reasons? We believe you.

Need tactical value? Please look somewhere else.

Need THE Chaos?

There she is.

No panties. No regrets.
You can buy printed models here:

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