City Of Sorrows - Pit Veteran 2

Field manual of Hook Nose Pheistus, Gladiator in the Grande Arena of the Imperial Capital

Section 3: How To Not Die (Advanced)

I. If thou face the giant sabretooth lions of the north, thou shalt try to find high ground and poke them with a very long spear.

II. If thou face the hulking ogre brutes, thou shalt sneak between their legs and stab them where the sun shineth not.

III. If thou face a roaring dragon, thou shalt let thyself get swallowed and then burst out of the beast's chest after a dramatic moment of silence.

IV. If thou face Rovena the Hammer, plea to face the sabretooth lions, the ogre brutes or the roaring dragon instead.